So You Want To NaNoWriMo

So you’ve decided to take the leap.  Is it your first year?  Your billionth?  Are you a professional writer?  You ARE?  WHY ARE YOU READING MY BLOG!?

 

Okay, so let’s get back to first timers.  Or repeat offenders.  What’s your plan?

STEP ONE:  MAKE A PLAN

My plan has been to half-ass an outline, of which I’ll maybe get half the month out of.  And then I’ll pants* the rest.  I’ve had the heart of this story in some iteration or another for years, so I’m confident.  I’ve got extensive notes about these characters.  I have oodles of witty dialogue involving a psionic direwolf.  I’m on this shit.

STEP TWO: WRITE THAT SHIT

Easier said than done, right?  Absolutely.

Make time for yourself to write.  Steal it.  Do what you have to.  I’m planning on writing at lunch, and then for at least a couple hours at home after work.  I’m lucky though, because my wife is also a writer.  She gets it.

You’re not writing a masterpiece… even if that’s the endgame.  You’re writing 1700 words a day, every day.

That means no editing, no rewrites.  Only go forward.  Frustrated?  Skip that section and write the next one.  Or drink.  Just kidding.  You can drink and write at the same time.  Don’t give up or give in to despair.  That’s what half-way through December is for.

STEP THREE: ?????

STEP FOUR: PROFIT

Okay, now we’re underpants gnomes.  Sorry about that.

You’re the only winner with NaNoWriMo.  Your whole plan was to write FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS IN THIRTY DAYS!  You didn’t give up!  You didn’t surrender!

THIS WAS A TERRIBLE PEP TALK, RIGHT?

I’d apologize, but let’s face it.  We’re in the same boat.  Work competes with the projects and no plan survives contact with the enemy.

You’re going to feel an intense pressure, as with any attempt to write. (Or not, in which, you’re awesome.  Go you.)  But if you keep writing, you keep working, you’ll get it done.

I’m just some guy writing on the internet, but I believe in you.  I know that if you want to do this insane thing, you will do it.  Maybe I’ll even read it when you’re done.

 

Relationship Status Quo

I make no attempt to hide my relationship status nowadays.  I am married to an amazing woman, she loves me for reasons untold and she often presents a quandary even to her adoring husband.  We have a wonderful partnership that only seems to strengthen as time goes on.  And for some reason, people keep coming to me for advice.  I find this quite hilarious.

I’ve been in my fair share of relationships.  More than my fair share even.  Okay, I was a man-slut.  But as my wife is fond of saying, reformed rakes make the best husbands.  The best advice I can give is to put in the work.  That’s right, work.  Maintaining a relationship requires effort, attention, work, willpower and patience.  Infinite amounts of patience.  For example, I let my wife suck me into the occasional TV show that I would typically snort derisively at.  *cough*GLEE*cough*

So this is my relationship advice post.  Here’s my advice.  Ready?

Understand the psychology and needs of your partner, in the time and place of the relationship.  Or, in summation, pay attention to your surroundings.  Emotional surroundings.  Simple, and yet so incredibly difficult that we all forget.

There we go.  We, as people, are prone to get lost in our own issues.  Maybe you haven’t dated in a while, so you’re nervous that you’re going to smother someone.  Or you date too much, you have a reputation as a slut.  (That was me.  Man-slut.)  So you get caught, tangled in drama of your own creation.  Let it go.  Relax.  Go with the flow.  I’m sure I could come up with another cliche to throw at you, but why bother?  You’re smart people.  You get my drift.

The best relationships take work, but the two in the relationship make it look easy.  Zoe and I have a great chemistry between us, we love each other.  But we also communicate.  That is number two.  Communication!  See, exclamation means importance.

Repeat:  COMMUNICATION!

Talk it out.  Don’t let your temper take you through to an argument.  Recognize that there are two sides.  Maybe you’re both wrong.  Or you’re both being stupid, selfish, neurotic, impossible, difficult, crazy, bitchy, wrong.  Easier said than done, right?  Psshhhht.  You want it, you have to work to get it.  If it didn’t take work, it really isn’t what you wanted.

I should wrap this, because I’ll ramble on incessantly otherwise.  I don’t know a goddamn thing about your relationship.  But odds are, you know you and what you want.  So, lets recap here:  Pay attention and communicate.  Key to a relationship.  I should throw in an old adage as a closer:

Know Thy Self.