Relationship Status Quo

I make no attempt to hide my relationship status nowadays.  I am married to an amazing woman, she loves me for reasons untold and she often presents a quandary even to her adoring husband.  We have a wonderful partnership that only seems to strengthen as time goes on.  And for some reason, people keep coming to me for advice.  I find this quite hilarious.

I’ve been in my fair share of relationships.  More than my fair share even.  Okay, I was a man-slut.  But as my wife is fond of saying, reformed rakes make the best husbands.  The best advice I can give is to put in the work.  That’s right, work.  Maintaining a relationship requires effort, attention, work, willpower and patience.  Infinite amounts of patience.  For example, I let my wife suck me into the occasional TV show that I would typically snort derisively at.  *cough*GLEE*cough*

So this is my relationship advice post.  Here’s my advice.  Ready?

Understand the psychology and needs of your partner, in the time and place of the relationship.  Or, in summation, pay attention to your surroundings.  Emotional surroundings.  Simple, and yet so incredibly difficult that we all forget.

There we go.  We, as people, are prone to get lost in our own issues.  Maybe you haven’t dated in a while, so you’re nervous that you’re going to smother someone.  Or you date too much, you have a reputation as a slut.  (That was me.  Man-slut.)  So you get caught, tangled in drama of your own creation.  Let it go.  Relax.  Go with the flow.  I’m sure I could come up with another cliche to throw at you, but why bother?  You’re smart people.  You get my drift.

The best relationships take work, but the two in the relationship make it look easy.  Zoe and I have a great chemistry between us, we love each other.  But we also communicate.  That is number two.  Communication!  See, exclamation means importance.

Repeat:  COMMUNICATION!

Talk it out.  Don’t let your temper take you through to an argument.  Recognize that there are two sides.  Maybe you’re both wrong.  Or you’re both being stupid, selfish, neurotic, impossible, difficult, crazy, bitchy, wrong.  Easier said than done, right?  Psshhhht.  You want it, you have to work to get it.  If it didn’t take work, it really isn’t what you wanted.

I should wrap this, because I’ll ramble on incessantly otherwise.  I don’t know a goddamn thing about your relationship.  But odds are, you know you and what you want.  So, lets recap here:  Pay attention and communicate.  Key to a relationship.  I should throw in an old adage as a closer:

Know Thy Self.

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One thought on “Relationship Status Quo

  1. Zoe says:

    Hey, who are you calling neurotic? And you know I’m the only one who ever gets to call you a man-slut.

    I like your broad sweep of advice. You’re like antibiotics. So this is about what to do once you’ve “won” somebody, and once you’re already in love with each other… and have admitted it to yourself and each other. This is how to keep each other, and stay happy and help the other (moi) be happy too.

    But, my love, what’s your advice on the do I like this person / do they like me / do I love him/her / does he/she love me (too/back)? What if he/she thinks I’m too slutty/prudish? How long to wait to call/text/email? How do I know if he/she likes me / thinks about me / wants me / cares about me / is playing me? All that. Just wondering what you’d say.

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